Anyway, during my awesome "real-world" travels, I picked up a book in a used bookstore that caught my eye and I just had to have it. It's called The Hollow Earth by a man named (take a deep breath) Dr. Raymond Bernard, A.B., M.A., Ph.D.
Don't believe me? Here it is:
Besides having a fairly long and intricate name, the thing was a small red tome that drew my eye, and on the back it details what this 191 page book is all about. Namely, (ahem):
REVEALED!
The Underground World of Supermen Discovered Under the North Pole.
Now I know that that's enough for most of you to jump on this and buy it, but the most amazing thing about this book is that insane wackiness like this isn't even "hidden" on the back page; a fuller account of the contents is actually right on the front cover, just under Dr. Raymond Bernard's name:
Dr. Raymond Bernard... Says that the true home of the flying saucers is a huge underground world whose entrance is at the North Polar opening... He believes that in the hollow interior of the Earth lives a super-race which wants nothing to do with man on the surface. They launched their flying saucers only after man threatened the world with A-bombs.
Interesting that for people who don't want anything to do with us surface dwellers, they seem to visit us with flying saucers about once every week in the Ozarks. In some way, I can imagine this "Doctor" to be a tortured genius type, working up the courage every night to pound the keys of his typewriter so he can publish this grand and brave expose on the truth. For me, though, the only really "brave" thing about this idea is that it is placed right on the front cover. Not to be snarky or mean, but didn't you kind of just ruin the whole book for us? This isn't some sort of Shakespearean play where the prologue tells you what's going to happen and then you watch in awe (and boredom) as it plays out before your eyes. This isn't Shakespearean; why would I read this book now? For facts? If I wanted facts I wouldn't be reading something called The Hollow Earth, would I?
Also, a quick Google search of the infamous, multi-titled doctor reveals, well, that he isn't really a "doctor" at all. His name is really Walter Siegmeister who (according to Wikipedia) was an alternate health and esoteric teacher who formed part of the alternate reality subculture... Well, those credentials are almost as good as a medical degree.
Anyway, I think this post is far long enough without me having to get into the nitty-gritty of the theory. You know, I once read that the average blog post should only be 500 words? Weird, huh? Most of mine are far longer. Oh, well, I guess the attention span of the public is becoming worse and worse.
Stay weird.
